⭐️Positive birth story from a FTM – it’s a slightly long one! ⭐️
It’s taken me a little while to get round to writing this, but I’d like to introduce Isla Paige McDonagh, born via emergency c-section on 27 October at 1:55pm weighing 9lb 13oz.
My due date was 24 October, and I’d had an unsuccessful sweep 2 days before. I felt disappointed that things weren’t ideal, but I focussed on positive affirmations that I would meet my baby girl soon. The day after my due date, I’d noticed some very minimal leakage and this continued on and off until the Monday. I rang the assessment unit, who advised me to come in for an assessment in case my waters had broken. Baby was monitored and it was my hind waters that had broken. Because it had been over 24 hours since they had broken without going into labour, I had to be induced due to the risk of infection to me and baby. At this point, I had a little cry to the midwife, but I remembered my breathing techniques and asked questions to make sure I understood what was going to happen. I was given a pessary at 6pm and then managed to get some sleep (after watching the induction videos from the course to keep me calm) before going onto the hormone drip just after midnight. My contractions started pretty much straight away and I managed to cope with them by breathing calmly and thinking that every contraction was one closer to meeting my daughter. As they started to get a bit stronger, I moved onto gas and air and ensured that I was sitting upright and forward.
As my contractions began to get stronger, I got a lot of pain in my lower back which meant that I couldn’t get comfy, and my midwife thought that baby had moved back to back as she was moving down. I managed on gas and air for a few hours until I opted for an epidural (not part of my birth plan), but using my learning from the course, I made the decision for an epidural so that I would remain calm and relaxed during labour instead of tense. My husband arrived just after I’d had my epidural and I continued to dilate well (I ended up at 9cm dilated in the end) and I managed to get some sleep which was a relief!
Every so often, baby wasn’t coping well with the contractions. I then had an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics and when I was sleeping, Isla’s heart rate was erratic and she was getting more distressed. After discussing options with the midwives and consultant it was decided that an emergency c-section was the best way forward – this wasn’t my ideal birth plan, but I was able to remain confident that we’d meet our baby soon. The team were fantastic, explaining their roles whilst they were setting up the theatre. Unfortunately, my epidural top up didn’t work quick enough, so I ended up under general anaesthetic. My husband was able to give Isla her first feed of colostrum whilst I was in recovery, and then I was able to meet my baby girl. The midwife was able to help me with skin to skin and to start breastfeeding – something I’ll never forget how amazing it felt. We ended up having 2 nights in hospital after my c-section and so Isla and I could be treated for infection, so whilst it was slightly rubbish being away from my husband, the midwives were amazing at helping me establish breastfeeding and thank goodness for being able to FaceTime people! Whilst the birth wasn’t the one I’d hoped for, the knowledge I’d gained from the course helped me massively at each stage to know I was doing the best thing for me and baby.
For more information about The Bump to Baby Chapter’s Hypnobirthing and Antenatal Online Course. Know what you can do to stack the odds in your favour for the birth that you want. Videos, checklists, audios & a support group all created by a midwife to get you feeling excited, prepared and confident for birth.
Positive Birth story- 39 weeks elected C section FTM
Introducing our gorgeous girl Effie Frances born Monday 23rd November weighing 8lb 1oz. Due to being a higher risk pregnancy because of high BMI I had increased growth scans and knew from 32 weeks that baby was breech. This didn’t come as a massive surprise as I was breech and could tell from baby’s movements that she wasn’t head down.
I was given the choice of an ECV as breech vaginal birth was kind of taken off the table. I wasn’t keen on the idea anway and it was implied that although some midwives have had training in breech delivery, the normal course of action is elected C section if ECV is unsuccessful. Had I wanted to deliver natural breech I could have pushed for this but I’ll be honest I wasn’t precious about having a natural delivery so the decision was probably easier for me to make.
An ECV was offered but after a consultation I opted against it due to its 50/50 success rate and by this point (38 weeks+2) baby was still breech and I didn’t want to put the baby through anything unnecessary so opted for a c section. I was told that the section would be booked for the following week as I’d be then 39 weeks which came as a shock as we were then faced with the reality that we’d have baby the following week! To my surprise, later that same day the hospital called and the c section was booked in for Monday 23rd afternoon!
My partner and I watched the ceasarean parts of the course which we found useful and also tips on breathing which really helped whilst I was prepped for theatre and during the section.
The whole process went really well and the team at St. Mary’s in Manchester cared for all of us brilliantly. The section itself wasn’t as scary as I’d imagined and luckily I had few complications which made the surgery and aftercare pretty straightforward. I won’t lie and say it isn’t without its discomforts but I think section and natural delivery both have these!
The experience of seeing our baby girl being born will be one I’ll never forget. I was worried about her latching as read section babies can struggle and it can take a while for milk to come in but she latched almost straight away during skin to skin in theatre. My advice to any other elected c section mums is it’s not as worrisome as you imagine, you can still have a really positive birth experience and you’re surrounded by professionals so ask questions if you’re not sure. Even in a theatre environment you can still request certain things like music, skin to skin, cord cutting etc so you still can have that involvement.
So far I’m healing well and was in hospital from 11am Monday, 4pm section and discharge at 5pm yesterday. I’m sore but can get around, help at home is a definite must and hoping to get out for short walks in about a week or so. Anyway sorry for the essay and good luck to all you mums to be and fellow c section ladies!
For more information about The Bump to Baby Chapter’s Hypnobirthing and Antenatal Online Course. Know what you can do to stack the odds in your favour for the birth that you want. Videos, checklists, audios & a support group all created by a midwife to get you feeling excited, prepared and confident for birth.
Bonnie Alexandra was born at 12:12 Friday 30th October at 39+2 weeks, via elective C-Section (breech bubba) at Ninewells hospital in Dundee. She made her grand entrance to the song “this will be (an everlasting love)” by Natalie Cole 🥰
Although it wasn’t the birth we were hoping for initially, we managed to keep a really calm and positive mind set thanks to Beth’s advice on TBTBC online, especially advice about controlling what you can and letting go of what you can’t.
Even our midwife commented on how chill we were about accepting certain hiccups we came across during pregnancy!
We felt confident in using the EBRAN to make decisions about things like doing an ECV, giving bubba vitamin K after birth, choosing a section over breech vaginal birth etc and we used the breathing/relaxation techniques during surgery to stay relaxed (as best we could) as well as some lavender oil on a flannel (which I never would have thought to bring in but I’m so glad we did!) My partner felt confident in supporting me and keeping me calm not only during birth but also during pregnancy as he watched all the classes with me!
We learnt so much and are so glad we decided to do The Bump to Baby Chapter course. Definitely recommend it especially as a first time mumma.
For more information about The Bump to Baby Chapter’s Hypnobirthing and Antenatal Online Course. Videos, checklists, audios & a support group all created by a midwife to get you feeling excited and confident for birth.
Emma Litchfield Birth Story – Unplanned ‘elective C – Section’ -Hector Andrew Litchfield
I just want to start this Birth Story by letting you know that you can have a positive birth even if it ended up being something you never even imagined.
My story starts 6 days before Hector arrived – it was a Friday night and I had a day of reduced movements- this was the second time this happened and so I called the Triage ward at Gloucester who told me to come in to be monitored– we knew the drill. So, I grabbed my notes and me and my husband, Henry, made the 40 min journey to Gloucester.
And of course, whilst we were waiting, our little man was having a party in there but we knew it was still a good idea to go ahead and get check and I am so glad I did.
Everything was perfect on the monitor and we were able to go home but we needed to come back in for a scan early next week- both of us questioned this as everything was fine and I don’t really like being messed with but the midwife explained to us that it was to check that the placenta was still functioning as reduced movements can be a sign that it is working as well as it could be.
My scan was booked in for the Tuesday so again we made the trip to Gloucester and I remember distinctly laughing during the drive there that I bet he would be dancing on the screen- what a cheeky baby! It would be nice to see him again at least.
We got to the scan and about 30 seconds in the sonographer comments ‘Oooo, He’s breech!’.
At 39 weeks which was such a shock especially as at my midwife appointments they were sure he was head down and 3/5th engaged.
So, we were sent up to the triage ward- I was in utter shock and started to really worry as I know my friend had a breech baby and ended up have a C-section which was something I really didn’t want, I spent time in my 3rd trimester visualising my birth and practicing hypnobirthing techniques and was hoping for a water birth with minimal intervention .
We were met with a surgeon to go through our options which were 1. to have an External Cephalic Verson (ECV) to try and turn him so I could have a natural birth and if that didn’t work to decide to carry on with a breech birth which could be tricky to get the right team on to support me or to have an elective C-Section.
After a what felt like hours and a huge amount of upset and tears, I decided to go for an ECV the risks to our baby were low and I really wanted a natural birth. On a side note the tears were not helped by the fact I hadn’t eaten since 7am and now I couldn’t eat in case the team needed to perform an emergency C-section after the ECV!
We were able to go home before the ECV was performed so we made sure we had everything we might need so a bag for me the baby bag just in case he arrived after the procedure- and then headed back in.
When we arrived back at the hospital, we were met by such a lovely midwife team who really helped to relax me, made me laugh and made sure I felt comfortable. They also felt the bump and were totally baffled– he felt head down!
I had quite an audience for the ECV as I don’t think they get many 39 week pregnant women in for one so I had two surgeons and a trainee doctor in with me as well as a midwife- who was brilliant in talking to me whilst the procedure was going on and holding the gas and air for me- she was wonderful.
The procedure itself is painful but worth it even if your baby doesn’t spin. It feels really wrong especially as we spend all of our pregnancy trying not to knock our bumps but at one stage I had two people pushing up and down on my bump trying to get him to spin- they gave it two tries but in the end it was just too painful to keep going but as soon as they stopped the pain stopped immediately. If I was in the same situation in the future, I would hands down have the procedure again.
Both myself and Henry had both decided that if the ECV didn’t work that we would go for an elective C-Section- so it was really easy once I had made a decision to go forward with it.
Again, the team were great- they talked us through what would happen and we booked a date – 6th February 2020- a Thursday.
It felt really surreal knowing the date of our baby’s birth rather than waiting for it like the other Mum’s in our TBTBC group – we spent the evening having dinner (hurrah!) and chatting through the day. It was a long chat, where I felt sad and disappointed that I couldn’t get the birth that I wanted, Henry was brilliant and listened to my thoughts and confirmed that fact I grew our little man and he would be arriving safe is an achievement in itself and a C-Section was still a birth. We ended up chuckling that we were so grateful that Bunty, who ran the Cirencester TBTBC, took us through what a C-section would involve so we felt less intimidated and before we left to come home from the hospital she came and found us to show me the operating theatre and the recovery room so I would be familiar with it when we came back in.
What happened next is something that I hope wold never happen to anyone else but sadly in the early hours of the Wednesday Henry’s Dad died. It wasn’t unexpected but it was a shock that it happened the day before his grandson was born- so where we were meant to have a day for us to get our head around that fact I was about to have major abdominal surgery and welcome our baby boy into the world it was now a day of grieving and making sure my husband was ok. Henrys family came over to ours for the day so we could be together. Henry messaged Bunty to let her know what had happened and to find out if we could book a private room- again the Gloucester maternity midwifes were incredible they made sure we had the space after the birth to have the privacy we knew we needed and I cannot thank them enough.
We both actually slept well the night before which was down to just being emotionallyexhausted but also because as I was going to sleep, I used the breathing techniques from my hypnobirthing course and it really helped calm me. I think I subconsciously used the techniques all through that day to keep me calm.
The next morning, I was a bag of nerves – I don’t like being messed with or having operations and I knew the recovery would take its time I felt quite scared and excited at the same time. To say I was a roller-coaster was an understatement but I kept myself busy- cleaning the house one last time! And Making sure everything was set for when we arrived home.
We were told we would be last on the list and so we didn’t need to go in until 11am however when we arrived, we met with our surgeon, Sophie, who then told us we could go now! Which was much better for me as I then had less time to worry. A Midwife came and got me and showed me where to get dressed and I was then walked down to the operating theatre – it all felt quite surreal.
Sitting on the bed receiving my epidural and spinal I was really nervous and used the breathing techniques to help calm me – the team were so lovely and there was a real excitement and positive vibe in the operating theatre – they seemed just as excited as me to meet our little boy. We had our playlist playing and some mini electric candles which made everything feel just that bit special.
I used my calming techniques throughout the whole birth and it was really lovely having Henry by my side. The surgical team also seemed to really like our playlist and were singling along and dancing to it- you really could forget that you were in an operation.
Hearing Hector’s first cry was the best (he was born to Elton John , Benny and the Jets) and he came straight to my chest so we could have a cuddle. I felt pretty tired and so the team then took him to be weighed and checked over whilst I had a little nap. Hector was born at 12.31pm a mere 1 hr 30 mins from when we arrived.
The reason why I put the Elective C-Section into air quotes as the title to this birth story is because I would never say that I feel that I elected for my C-section once the ECV was completed and failed we felt that it really was the only way to move forward safely however even if I didn’t choose to have it, it was still a positive experience. I was given the respect and time to make my decisions about the procedure- to have the drape up, to have a playlist and to have skin to skin straight away, our surgeon was great, she really understood it wasn’t my preferred method and made sure everything was a perfect as it could be. I was also given the space to be nervous without being judged and was treated with such warmth and kindness from the midwives and the surgical team – I will never forget and am so grateful to them.
Beth’s course was so useful especially around the different types of birth. The course helped us immensely and we didn’t even know we were going to need to know all about C-sections! I cannot recommend this course enough!
Hector’s middle names were after Henry’s Dad ‘Andrew’ and also his Great Grandad ‘Percy’ who was born on the same day.
Thanks so much TBTBC!
If you want to know about ways to have a great birth, how to stack the odds in your favour to get the birth you want and feel calm in all births then…
You can get all the information from our award-winning hypnobirthing and antenatal classes but from the convenience of your own home and on your own time, with The Bump to Baby Chapters antenatal and Hypnobirthing online course.
I had my daughter Eliza Ivy on 9th April 2020 – I elected for a caesarean following my previous induction and emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic with my now 26 month old daughter CiCi.
Throughout my pregnancy I thought I would have a VBAC – I wanted to experience going into labour the natural way and to feel my waters break and so on… Given the current COVID-19 pandemic, I started to feel panicked and decided that an elective caesarean would be the right choice for me. My husband also needed to look after our 2 year old so it became a reality that I would need to undergo the surgery alone. I was terrified and couldn’t sleep the night before. When I thought about it practically, I calmed down but it was the thought of not having my husband to hold my hand that made me quite emotional.
When the morning arrived, everything was calm – virtually tranquil. The ward, despite not being empty felt quiet and the staff at East Surrey Hospital were kind and reassuring. I was determined to breastfeed this time round after struggling and ultimately giving up the first time. So in I went with my colostrum syringes ready to store in the fridge. When it was my turn to have my baby, despite everything being explained to me, I will never forget the range of overwhelming emotions I felt in such a short space of time. Fear, relief, discomfort, ease, panic, calm, worry, joy, adrenaline, elation…
Ahead of time, the midwife in the surgery team offered to play my choice of music and to take any photos/videos I would like. In the end, my anaesthetist FaceTimed my husband so he could see my daughter being carried over the drapes – this was a new experience for us both as we had not seen our first daughter so soon after the birth. My midwife helped me downstairs to meet my husband and daughter – she took her time and didn’t rush us. This really made our reunion post birth so special.
I had skin to skin with my daughter and she fed from me straight away – our breastfeeding journey has been strong for nearly two weeks and I feel so lucky to be able to manage this time. I think that the pandemic has given me the blessing of time so that I am not rushing feeds or worrying about getting too much done at home. I’ve been able to recover at a steady pace and after he initial two days, it’s got easier each day. It’s not easy with a two year old, especially when she wanted to be carried and I can’t because of my wound but we’ve been making a conscious effort to make sure CiCi has lots of special time as well as fresh air and park visits so she doesn’t feel left out.
After my first birth which was challenging, painful and frightening, I felt so much more calm and in control this time round. I wanted to share my story with other mums to be who might be feeling quite anxious and unsure about their births. It might not be exactly what you imagine but the NHS staff are with you every step of the way 🤍
Thank you to Katrina for sharing her positivity with her birth story during this pandemic. For more birth stories click here.
Our Journey began back in May 2018 when we became pregnant with our first baby. We started planning our birthalmost from day 1 and after lots of research, discussion and involvement from various health professionals we made an informed decision to have an elective Caesarean section. I won’t go in to the ins and outs of this decision, but it was the best decision for us, it was an informed decision, not taken lightly and one we felt happy with. We were eventually given a date, I was to be 39 weeks + 5 days pregnant on this day.
We attended pre assessment the week before where I had various checks undertaken, bloods done and further questions I had answered. I had already started having some symptoms that would indicate the baby’s arrival wasn’t too far away, but we just had to wait (and hope in my case) that Monday would arrive before labour began.
The night before our baby’s birth – by this point I was very uncomfortable, mostly spending the day lying on the sofa catching up on TV we had missed at Christmas and shuffling around when needing too. We had big plans to go out for dinner, our last as 2, but in the end we just wanted to stay home and chill out, so my husband cooked us a lovely roast dinner instead. That evening was the first in the new series of ‘Call the midwife’, we sat and watched it thinking tomorrow, that will be us holding our baby. It was like the night before Christmas that night, although it wasn’t just filled with excitement to meet our new baby, but with huge anxiety, will everything be ok? Will the baby be ok? Will I be ok? How much pain will there be? It was full of lots of uncertainties that only the actual birth would give us the answers to. We went to bed about 10pm, because we knew it was an early start, I took the prescribed ranitidine then too. After about an hour we realised neither of us could actually sleep, we talked some more and then just rested with very little sleep until 6am.
The day of delivery had finally, after 9 long months arrived. 6am – it was a very cold and crisp morning, it was dark and the sky was still filled with stars, I think adrenaline kicked in with me and I wanted to join Dave in taking our 2 dogs on a short walk before they were left with my mum for a few days. I waddled around the block and after we got home, showered and changed ready to go to the hospital. Dave was kind and sat and had breakfast downstairs while I got ready as I was nil by mouth, he loaded the car with all our bags (we did take all but the kitchen sink) and the car seat and we took a final bump photo, complete with the date. The journey to the hospital is one I’m very well used to, but this morning it felt very long, I was very anxious and I remember saying over and over again to Dave, we are going to be ok aren’t we? We have made the right decision? To which he replied ‘absolutely yes!’ We pulled up in the car park, got everything out of the car and said ‘Let’s do this, let’s go and meet our baby!’ We arrived at triage at 7.30am and were asked to take a seat and wait to be booked in. Shortly afterwards, another couple arrived and we chatted with them, they were also there for an Elective Caesarean, turns out they had experience as they had had previous caesarean births, they saw the fear on our faces and said ‘Don’t worry, you’ll be well looked after, it will all be ok.’ After a short time we were taken to another room and checked in by a kind midwife, we listened to the baby’s heart beating away and I was given a gown and Dave given (much to his delight) what can only be described as raspberry coloured scrubs. We weren’t first on the theatre list, so didn’t need to change straight away, we sat back in with the other couple also waiting, and chatted for a while.
Next the anaesthetist came to talk to us he seemed to understand how anxious I was, he explained everything thoroughly, and gave me chance to ask questions and take everything in, he had read my birth plan and said everything on there was very reasonable and he would join with the rest of the team in trying to follow it where possible. I did warn him I was tricky to cannulate too but he said not to worry, he would sort that no problem (I did warn him….). The registrar then came to speak with us and consented me for the procedure. The consent process highlights the risks involved which is quite daunting and scary but as we had looked into all of these and discussed them at length, I felt happy to proceed. We were then put into a room on our own to change and wait to be called. We brought Uno to play while we waited; we dealt the cards and then decided it wasn’t quite the same as sitting on the balcony in the Majorcan sunshine sipping on a cocktail and a beer so we packed it away again. I made sure I got a photo of Dave in his Raspberry scrubs (and forwarded it to my mum, for a laugh). A very small number offamily members knew the day our baby was arriving so reading their well wishes and messages of support that morning helped to pass the time.
We were 2nd on the list that morning and were told it would be approximately 10.30am that we would be going to theatre to finally meet our baby. 10.30am came and went, we were still waiting, 11am – still waiting, we totally understood this, it’s something very difficult to put a time on. 11.15am – still waiting, 11.30am – I said to Dave,’ I will just nip out to the toilet’, and no surprises within a minute of walking out of the room, the theatre staff came for us. I arrived back from the toilet and the theatre staff told us to bring our bags as they were ready for us. I had the baby’s suitcase to wheel, Dave wheeled our holdall, I think everyone thought we were staying for the month the amount of stuff we had with us!!! I turned to Dave walking along the corridor in my gown and said, ‘wheeling these cases is like walking through the airport when we are going off on holiday’, he answered ‘we aren’t going on holiday though, we are going to meet our boy, it’s even more exciting!’ It was a very surreal feeling, after 9 hard months of waiting, the hours of appointments, the many scans, the worry and the excitement, the time was finally here, this was actually happening, we were going to meet our baby boy, we were about to become a family of 3 (ok, 5 if you include our 2 dogs).
We placed our bags in recovery ready for when we came out of theatre and went into a room next to theatre to complete the final checks. This is where I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, I was frightened, my uncertainties were just about to be answered and I did begin to panic. Dave sat with his arm around me while the staff completed the final checklist before theatre; he was telling me over and over again that it was allgoing to be fine, something we hoped, but couldn’t 100% know for sure. The anaesthetic team were lovely, the ODP checking me in said she, herself had had 3 c sections and all were fine. Dave held my hand as we walked into theatre, I sat on the theatre table and Dave sat on a stool away from me while the anaesthetic team placed the cannula (He’s not a fan of needles). I sat and sobbed my way through this part, my eyes so blurred I couldn’t really see what was going on. The kind anaesthetist put some local anaesthetic around the site of where the cannula was to be placed, this is where I asked if I could hold someone’s hand, the ODP said no problem and held my hand until Dave could be back with me. 3 attempts later and the cannula was finally in (I did say I was tricky to cannulate!). Dave then came and sat next to me for the spinal, one of the aspects of our baby’s delivery I was very worried about. I was in a bit of a state by this point, but I needed to continue, cold spray was sprayed onto my back to clean the area and my gosh, it was cold as I had been warned. At this point I turned to Dave and said ‘Next time, you’re having the baby!’ he answered ‘Well we won’t be having anymore then!’ I think it did make a few of the staff smile. The local anaesthetic was injected which felt, as they had said, just like a bee sting, but the stinging sensation was over in a few seconds. Then came the spinal anaesthetic, it was a strange sensation of pressure and slight tingling in my legs, but it wasn’t painful. Dave didn’t see anything, but I could see the colour drain from his face, I repetitively asked him if he was ok, he kept saying yes, but after the 3rd yes, I could see he very much wasn’t and I told the staff around us who then helped Dave to the floor and got him a drink of water. Dave hadn’t seen any needles, but he said just being in an environment he’s never been in before (awake anyway) and seeing his wife so upset and apart from being there, there was nothing he could directly do to solve my worries, he found it very hard. I was working through a tick list of things happening in my head and once the spinal was in, I did start to calm down. I remember the anaesthetist saying we are going to lift your legs onto the theatre table now, I said ‘its ok I can do that,’ before he could open his mouth, I realised I couldn’t, my legs had already gone numb enough that it wasn’t possible. I was helped to lie down. The spinal took just minutes to work and its effectiveness checked with ice. I was surprised how high the spinal came up on my body; I couldn’t feel anything until midway up my chest. The drapes were raised, catheter inserted, another worry, which they told me they were inserting, but I felt nothing, it was really nothing to worry about. Dave made a slight admission to me at this at this point, we had brought a mood light speaker in the bag which was meant to come into theatre so we could listen to our chosen song while our baby was born, but he had left it in the bag. It was ok; we could still have our song played from his phone. We chose ‘Wonderwall’ an acoustic version, by Noel Gallagher which was special to us as it was our first dance song from our wedding in 2017. I remember the surgeon saying ‘Ahh a Wonderwall baby!’ I had crocheted our boy his first hat and handed it to theatre staff to place on him when he was born, this, along with our music choice was quite a talking point and before we knew it, when I asked had the operation started, (I missed them saying they were starting)they said yes and in just a second you’ll hear a lot of suctioning as we break your waters. I had my phone ready to capture the ‘Lion king’ moment when our son was born, something we had discussed at Antenatal classes with Beth.Our music played and we were ready and waiting as the surgeons worked to get our son out. People are not wrong when they say there’s no pain, but it feels like someone doing the washing up in your tummy – so true! I asked was he nearly out, the anaesthetist said,’ I can see a nose’, he was a Sunnyside up baby (he had his back against mine). This waiting seemed like forever, it wasn’t, but by all accounts, he was somewhat tricky to deliver. Forceps were used (I didn’t even realise that was a thing in caesarean delivery) but failed, we heard the emergency bell, I surprisingly stayed fairly calm, I knew we were in the best hands and everyone would do what they needed to do to help us. Dave saw a rush of people enter theatre through a door I couldn’t see from behind the drapes. Our baby boy, Jacob Charlie was finally born at 12.24pm, we had hoped for him to be held up so we could see him and have ‘The Lion King’ moment but following a few difficulties when being born, he was taken straight to the resuscitaire, which is absolutely where we wanted him to be taken for him to get the help he needed and for the team to make sure he was ok, we started to panic at this point as he hadn’t cried, but after a bit of oxygen and a good rub, we heard a brief cry. The anaesthetist came to tell us that our son was ok and that he just needed a little bit of help initially, I asked if he could take my phone to take a photo, we were desperate to see our son, he took several photos and came back to show us. I remember saying ‘is he actually ours, he is absolutely perfect and soooooo cute!’ The answer came back ‘yes he is definitely yours!’ At this point Dave whispered to me, ‘You did it, you actually did it, he’s here, he’s perfect and I’m so proud of you!’ I had completed the journey of pregnancy and I couldn’t believe I had done it, something which I wrote on a message to Beth the next day!
About 10 minutes after Jacob was born the midwife in theatreasked Dave if he would like to come and trim Jacobs cord, something which was written in our birth plan and despite having a caesarean delivery it was something we wanted if possible, Dave went over to meet our beautiful boy for the first time and was overwhelmed by love towards him, he did let out a few tears at this point. He trimmed the cord and stroked Jacobs head. The team said Dave could sit back down next to me and they would bring Jacob over for his first cuddle.
During this time I remember the doctors saying that I required a hormone injection in my leg to help reduce the bleeding and they would set up and infusion too, I didn’t feel the injection but I was warned that it may make me feel sick, which it did a little, but that was soon counteracted with anti-sickness medication. As I was being stitched up, the midwife brought our beautiful son over for me to meet for the first time, he was swaddled in lots of blankets and he had his little hat on I had made. I felt instant love towards him. I was going to have skin to skin at this point, which the staff were happy to facilitate in theatre, but with all the drapes and gown, I didn’t feel it would have been easy to do and I was happy to let Dave have the first cuddle, after all, I had carried Jacob for 9 months. We sat for about 20 minutes just looking at Jacob, we touched his tiny hands, and stroked his little face, and he opened his eyes when he heard us talking to him, our son was finally here and we couldn’t believe it. The theatre staff were more than happy to catch our first moments on camera as a family of 3 and once I was transferred back to the hospital bed, this was when I was comfortably able to have skin to skin with our boy, we were wheeled to recovery at this point, absolutely beamingfrom ear to ear, ready to start our journey as parents and a family of 3.
Some people have said to me, how can you have a birth plan for an elective caesarean? Well, the elective caesarean was a plan A for me and our baby and of course you can have a birth plan, we sat down with our very kind midwife at 33 weeks and wrote it. We said we wanted music played using our mood light speaker, we wanted delayed cord clamping if possible, we wanted skin to skin contact as soon as was feasible, to have a spinal anaesthetic, to have my husband with me at all times if possible, and for Dave to trim the cord. We also planned for Plan B, C and D if I did go into labour. I wanted my wishes to be known, in case I was unable to voice these myself and this planning helped with my anxiety.
Most people are anxious about having a baby, my anxiety wasmore than this, I had tokophobia, but with the right help andsupport we were able to make an informed decision which we felt was best for us, and our dream of having a family was able to come true. Never be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Caesarean birth is birth and can be just as beautiful as any other birth. I have been asked if I feel robbed of the experience of labour, my answer, absolutely not! This all happened just over a year ago now, the recovery wasn’t a piece of cake initially, but we thankfully have a very supportive network that helped us in those first few weeks when I couldn’t drive or lift anything more than Jacob. We both have had, since day one, an amazing bond with our very happy, content and active now 1 year old and we love being his Mummy and Daddy, it’s been the best year of our lives so far. Would I do it again? Maybe one day, if that’s where our journey is meant to take us.
If, like Sophie, you want t know all about cesarean births, how best to recover and have a toolkit of techniques to help you in all birth scenarios then…